Monday, January 5, 2015

Holy Cow

I am pretty open about the fact that I'm not a religious person. I consider myself a recovering Catholic, meaning I was raised in the religion and attended Catholic grade school through the eighth grade but no longer adhere to the protocols. The plaid uniforms and knee socks did nothing to endear me to the doctrine. Nor did the nun who would smack you upside the head if you played the wrong note in music class. The sticker chart in our classrooms were for the prayers we had to memorize, not for who lost their first tooth or could tie their own shoes. I didn't know you could eat meat on Friday until I went to public high school. I do believe I had a cheeseburger at the end of every week for my entire Freshman year just because I could. I should have taken that as a sign that I was losing the faith.  I honestly gave it a good shot, but it just didn't stick. My cynicism is not restricted to Catholicism, as I have attended services and meetings of many different denominations and have similar objections to all of them. It's the organization of organized religion that tends to give me pause. Besides, I can sit and judge myself and my own actions in yoga fat pants at home. 

Religion tends to creep into the dating process. It is a very understandable deal-breaker for many people. And I get it. If I had something I felt so strongly about that I would willingly forfeit a percentage of my income to support it, I would want a significant other that would respect it. I have some deal-breakers as well, but they tend to be socially- and politically-oriented, and not based on a stranger's opinion of whether or not my partner and I would get to spend eternity together. I would hope we as a society could evolve past such outdated ideals, but religious people tend to be resistant to the process of evolution. I've only run across one potential suitor for whom religion was an issue. He got very judgmental about my life and belief system, which I took great pains to inform him only reinforced my issues. It was a futile conversation. He's in the market for some arm candy for Sunday service, and that's just not my bag. 

I was recently introduced to a few people at my local coffee haunt by a good friend. We all fell into conversation very easily, and the subject of both religion and dating came up. I mentioned my blog, and one of the women said that she has had quite a few clearance-aisle experiences of her own. We discussed a few, but my favorite is when she exclaimed, "Jesus stole my boyfriend!" After the peals of laughter subsided, she explained that she had been dating a guy that had recently joined a local church. A few months into his new spiritual journey, he informed her that he was told the urges he was feeling toward her were sinful and must be avoided. So he broke up with her. For Jesus. I have to say, as a clearance-aisle dater the competition out there is pretty stiff. And now we have to compete with the son of God? Sigh. Lord help us all. 

Our Catholic school uniforms were black and red plaid 
similar to these. But they made us wear navy blue knee 
socks with it. To this day, I have no idea what that was about. 

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